Introversion

A dialogue

Much has been written about introvert versus extrovert personalities. But I think it is a relatively new subject amongst people’s consciousness.

I had never realized that I was introverted until I started reading some online articles that showed up everywhere 10-15 years ago.

Are you drained by large groups, or limit your time in large groups? Yes! 

Do you often leave groupings of people to feel recharged? Yes!

Would you prefer detailed conversations with substance over loud, chatty fluff? YES, YES, YES!

That’s it. I’m introverted. I never knew there was a name for it.

I don’t know why it has taken this long for Introverts vs. Extroverts to become a common discussion. Probably because the only people who care about this are the introverts. Extroverts have no issues over any social gathering whatsoever, so they have no need or care to study it. And thus, introverts often have unmet needs. I figure, the more it’s discussed, the better we’ll all understand each other. Kum-by-yah.

Do you have unmet needs socially? Yes!

Are you often made to feel guilty for nursing your introvert needs? Oh HELL yes!

Except one major flaw in my kum-by-yah thinking. Introverts can learn from this information. Extroverts don’t usually give a flying rip.

Therefore, even the smartest, most educated extroverts on earth will always give you that face when you show disapproval to a gathering. That face: a slight head tilt with an eyebrow crinkle and slightly opened confused mouth that says “What? 

Every. Time. Amazing…

I must have spent my entire childhood, young adult years, and half my marriage feeling guilty for my ways.

And introversion is getting worse the older I get. I don’t know how to slow it down.

People may still think I’m quirky or slightly rude for not sticking around or joining in. Truth is, I’m actually quite dignified and decent.

Because I haven’t said words like “fuck” yet. 

And man, do I want to. Bad.

“Shut the fuck up”.

“Fuck off. All of you”

“Get the fuck out of my house. NOW”

I’m sure that would probably cross some irreparable line. But this introversion/aging thing…it’s a slippery slope with potential harsh outcomes when cornered.