Fort Qu’Appelle has given me such a higher quality of life compared to my years in Texas. There’s one key ingredient missing.
Friendships are fewer and farther between in the Fort.
In Texas, I had numerous, vast, deep friendships. Everywhere. From my university days, neighbors, numerous churches, several career fields (music, broadcasting, ministry, construction/renovation work).
In Fort Qu’Appelle, I think I have one.
Sure. I have numerous acquaintances too. And a couple of developing minor friendships that I take seriously.
And then there was the guy I was close to for about a year or so until I realized he was a big conspiracy theorist.
And then there was this guy several years ago who seemed eager to know me. Then I realized he just wanted me to smoke pot with him.
I don’t smoke. Probably due to the church-going upbringing I had. That, and I know I would love it. Why start a new obsession now, one that would make me a lousy example to my kids?
But my friend Pete. We have about as deep of a friendship as I can get in Fort Qu’Appelle. And our families lives are intertwined.
It started the first couple of weeks after we immigrated here in June 2010. Pete and his family also moved here at the same time.
My family and I were visiting a lakefront playground with our three small kids. My five year old son was doing a 3-day stint in the local Kindergarten class to see if he’d be fit to start Grade One the following Fall, since he hadn’t entered school yet. At this playground, he ran into one of his classmates.
Pete was the father of this classmate. And coincidentally, Pete’s son was doing the same thing…trying out Kindergarten for the same reason, as they had just moved from Taiwan. Pete and his Japanese born wife Asaco also had two other children the same ages as our two younger kids. Another coincidence.
Our families ran into each other several times that summer. We were temporarily living with cousins until we closed on a house. They were temporarily living with Pete’s parents until they moved to Edmonton for Pete’s Masters program.
Pete was from the Fort. He grew up here then moved far away for two decades. He returned to raise his kids close to their grandparents, while helping with the family farm after his schooling. Pete fits the profile of the local people-type I connect with the most: someone with local ties who moved away, only to return much later in life. Those are the most interesting people. They know the local culture well, but they are not “of” the local culture, thus keep their distance.
Pete grew up in a fairly fundamentalist christian sect. One that I had never heard of in Texas. He rebelled from it, left home a year before graduating, and eventually made his way to Japan to teach English.
After Pete’s two year stint in Edmonton, he and his family moved back to the Fort. We reconnected, as did all of our children and wives. Our families have been intertwined ever since.
In addition to numerous family gatherings (pre-pandemic), projects, and such, we share a love for cross-country mountain biking. We’ve traveled hundreds of kilometres around the Qu’Appelle Valley region, with many trips planned for this summer too.
We balance each other somehow. I’ve always likened America and Canada to Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock. Pete and I kind of have a Kirk/Spock thing going on occasionally. I’ll get stupidly passionate over some nonsense. Pete will bring in a logical bent. It works.
I wrestle with the faith I once had living in Texas. Somehow I’ve kept it. But just barely. Pete is, what I’d assume, a borderline atheist. He keeps no rituals of any sort and believes in no creator. But he respects the concept of the afterlife. Old remote cemeteries are often how we construct new biking routes. Pete’s the most moral human I know. More so than many Christians.
Every person I met in the Fort after immigrating here always came with an agenda. Like they saw me as a new potential ally. One who could be molded into the image they see fit for their needs.
Other than maybe needing help on some minor construction or fix-it project (which I love doing), Pete has no agenda. Just kinship.